Living Life to the Fullest

I came across this quote from the book "The Last Season" today while reading another blog Vagabond Girl Adventures about an amazing woman who doesn't let anything stand in her way.  

 

"All of your life, someone is pointing the way, directing you this way and that, determining for you which road is best traveled.  Here is your chance to find your own way.  Don't ask me how to get to McGee Canyon.  Go, on your own.  Be adventuresome.  Don't forever seek the easiest way.  Take the way you find.  Don't demand...signs.  Don't demand we show you...Go find them yourself...This is your birthright, most commonly denied you.  Be free enough from intentions to find goodness wherever you are and in whatever is happening.  Here for once in your life you needn't do anything, be anywhere at a determined time, walk in a certain direction.  You can now live by whim.  Here's your chance..."

The quote, and the blog, reminded me that life isn't always perfect and that it definitely isn't easy.  God never promised us that it would be, but I know he does plan for us to enjoy the adventure to the fullest!  Any and everyone who knows me understands my crazy need to plan practically every minute in my life.... with jobs and school and meetings and organizations and EVERYTHING my schedule is pretty packed.  I never mean to offend if I say I will "pencil you in" or that I'll have to check my calendar.  If I tell you that it is because I sincerely want to make the time and that I will make the time for you.  I forget so often to just.... slow down.  It may sound strange to everyone reading this, but I bought flowers for my kitchen this week so that I could literally make time to "smell the roses."  I tire quickly of being an adult.  It is not fun!  But I know it is necessary and I fully believe it will pay off.  If I hadn't have worked so hard thus far then this trip to Rwanda would be entirely out of my reach.  

In life we realize quickly what it takes to just get by.  For some people, like myself and my brother, we realize what is needed to excel and to thrive and we do not accept failure well.  I'm learning now that failure accompanies everything we do.  You cannot learn without making mistakes.  I do not have regrets because I have learned from every experience (good and bad) throughout my life so far and I wouldn't be the lady I am today without those experiences!  How often do people actually just sit down and examine their lives to see what it is they are missing?  When I saw the movie Eat, Pray, Love I felt an indescribable tugging from within that was impossible to understand.  I know how cliche' that sounds, "I watched a movie and now EVERYTHING makes sense!"  Although that is not the case, it did get me thinking and caused me to evaluate things in my life.  What is important?  What do I want to do?  What will make me happy? 

I have come to the following conclusions:
(they are in no particular order whatsoever)

1. I love to travel.  Other cultures and languages intrigue me beyond measure.

2. My hometown isn't as bad as I used to believe (but sorry momma I still do not want to live there).

3. Being a typical lawyer is something that I may never fully settle into.....

4. I want to eventually get married & have a family (like every other girl) but the idea of someone putting up with me that long and traveling with me was previously unfathomable.  But it is beginning to look a little more like reality...

5. My dream is to be accepted as a Fulbright Scholar to Bangladesh next year.

6. I am a Christian and am always striving to show God's love in my own actions.

7. My bucket list is long and I WILL accomplish everything on it, including riding an elephant in India.

8. I will always and forever be a planner.  No escaping it.

9. I will never ever ever ever stop helping people. It is truly my passion.

and finally....

10. I love my family.  I worry so often that travelling is going to send them into an early grave and to be honest I have begun to have the fear that eventually all young adults get: the death of a loved one.  I have experienced death and grief.  I was exposed to it early and it seriously threw my life around, especially when my best friend Ryan died.  But this is different.... it is a fear to not miss a holiday or birthday, just in case it happens to be a grandparents' (or parent's) last.  I am to that age where I understand most but not enough actually makes sense.  Because of this, it is very hard to follow all of these dreams I have, but I know I must.  I know my parents and grandparents would be disappointed in me if I gave up.  Would they sleep better at night?  ....probably.  But they have raised me to give life my all and that is exactly what I plan to do.  They have helped to point the way for me my entire life.... now is my time to make my own path.